Last week this Fearless Prognosticator went 11-2, bringing the total season to 23-3-1. Yeah, it's been pointed out this ain't against the spread. Who gives a crap. On to this week's most fearless prognostications....
USC at Nebraska:The Men of Troy invade Lincoln for a tussle betwixt traditional powers on Saturday night. Emphasis on "traditional." Southern Cal has been busy rewriting the record books, while HuskerNation is starting the Bama-like revolving door on football coaches. This game should have been scheduled in November so the boys of sunnyville might have to see snow. That's the edge this Cornfield team truly needs. Huskers struggled against Wake Forest last week. This ain't Wake. Troy 31 Huskers 10
Western Carolina at Georgia: Said Head Ball Coach after beating the Dawgies last Saturday night: "I don't know how big this win is, they've lost 5 straight in this division including losses to Vandy and Kentucky." Ouch. Salt in the wound my friend, salt in the wound. The Catamounties are playing an SEC schedule, already having been shellacked by the Pachyderms. Dawgies rebound, but there's some grumbling in Athenia. Ugaah 42 Catamounties 14
Arkansas at Alabama: Boss Hog takes his troops into T-town on some big momentum - they didn't play the week before 'Bama just like five other Tide opponents. Meanwhile, in Tuscaloosa, Nick Saban has literally been appointed King. After the Pachyderms trampled the hopeless Doormats last week, some in Tuscaloosa were ready to erect a stadium. Nuttmeister should probably stop text messaging and start coaching, cause this one's gonna be a fight. Pachyderms 23 Pigs 22
Boston College at Georgia Tech: The Bees are riding high, but they might should come down a stair or two. They whalloped the Fighting Catholics (who suck), then scored 69 on Samford (who sucks even worse from a lower division). This could be a true test for the Bumble Bees with the Boston Eagles in town. Still odd they are in the same conference, with Boston fightin on the other side in the Great War Betwixt the States. BC should get one of those Varsity Chili dogs before game time, cause that place will be packed with happy Bee fans afterwards. Don't forget the big orange drink. Techsters 31 Eagles 14
Mississippi State at Auburn: It's the Sly one versus the gambler. I wonder if Tubbmeister is gettin a little nervous over on the Plains. After squeaking by Kansas State, the upstart South Florida Bulls knocked off the Tigers in Jouuurden Hair. It was hairy alright. South Florida didn't have a kicker and still won. I think www.firetuberville.com could get more traffic than Toomer's corner. The boys from Starkvegas aren't very good - but neither are the Tigers. Take one of those little TVs, and take plenty of bourbon. Tiggers 28 Pups 17
Tennessee at Florida: The Great Orange Pumpkin meets Urban Legend. It's not Friday the 13th, but it might as well be. The Davy Crockets rebounded against the Hattiesburg Eagles after getting their footballs handed to them against Cal. Legend has the Crocs playing at a pretty high level. This game is in the swamp, which pretty much describes the state of Davy Crocket football these days. It'll be warm, so drink the light beer or you'll pass out by halftime. Kinda like UT. Crocs 42 Crockets 30
Louisville at Kentucky: It's the battle for a bourbon bucket or hatchet or something. Or maybe you win a horse, I dunno. The Pappa Johns Boys gave up more than 40 points to Middle Tennessee State last week. Not good. This is not your Pappa's Wilcat team - they actually win games. It will be a bit chili on Saturday morning, so take a coat to hide the good stuff. Don't forget to add Coke. Mildcats 48 Pizza Boys 38
Notre Dame at Michigan: These two teams have had this game circled on the calendar for literally days and days. Really, just since Saturday, when both realized their entire season hinges on this contest. This Prognosticator wonders if either would win another game if not playing against each other. The Wolverines are terrible, Lloyd Carr is history, and everybody knows it. Notre Dame sucks, will likely win three or four games, and still get invited to the Orange Bowl. Ok, there are rules now. The head coach playing Rutgers this week said he rather play Michigan than Rutgers. Yowsa. This is like watching a train reck - you know you shouldn't, but you'll probably watch. Wolverines 6 Catholics 2
Middle Tennessee State at LSU: Ok, Les Miles will be the next coach at Michigan. This week he can actually spend some time thinking about it, cause his 5th string will be playing by the second quarter. The Rajun Cajuns spanked the Gobblers last week until they cried mercy. The Blue Raiders have lost to Florida Atlantic and gave up more than half a hundred to the Louisville Cards. Not only that, it's a directional school. Not good in football. This ain't basketball, but they sure do give up the points. Cajuns 96 Raiders 10
Ole Miss at Vandy: It's the Rebs. It's Vandy. It's two teams who are always on the outside of the Hope-we-win-five-games bottle looking in. The bottle has brown stuff in it, and we're not talking coke or pepsi. This game could literally decide who finishes above Mississippi State and out of the SEC cellar. Take some of the good stuff, and maybe your homework too. Doormats 20 Rebs 19
South Carolina State at South Carolina: With few exceptions, if you have "State" in your name in the Southeast, you're probably the back seat driver in collegiate athletics in your "state." The biggest problem the evil genius will have is keeping everybody - fans and players alike - awake for this contest. The Bulldogs had a huge win over Bethune Cookman last week. This ain't Bethune whatever. War Chickens 63 Dogs 0
Texas at University of Central Florida: I've decided I should move to Florida and start a college football team. There must be some talent, cause UCF is just the latest on the scene. And for some reason I can't fathom, the Horns agreed to play the Knights at the dedication of their new field. UT slipped past the last couple of opponents without much to impress the eye. This is one of those games you'll find by mistake on ESPNU or 2 or something while you're channel surfing. Could be interesting. Horns 27 Knights 20
Ohio State at Washington: Oh my, how things have changed. The Buckinators take their act on the road to Huskeyville, where an ex-Notre Dame coach (quick, honk if you've coached there) who got fired cause he apparently couldn't coach has his team ranked in the top 25. The Nuts looked a littler underwhelming against the Zips last week. The Boys from the Pacific Northwest want to make a statement. Welcome to Washington. Don't forget your cafe latte - spiked with some of the good stuff. Dogs 21 Nuts 19
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