Week 4 Fearless Prognostications

Last week this Fearless Prognosticator went 10-3, bringing the total season to 33-6-1. You know, that ain't have bad. I've even gotten a few emails from folks using the picks for "entertainment purposes" only. You know who you are. And you owe me a beer or three. On to this week's most Fearless Prognostications.

Iowa at Wisconsin: Hawks and Cheese Dudes get together for tea and crumpets Saturday afternoon in Madison. The Cheese Men barely escaped Vegas last week - you know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. The Farm Boys from Hawkeye town lost to Iowa State last week. Nuff said. Wiscaaaaaasin 23 Hawks 13

New Mexico State at Auburn: The Gambler is feeling more heat than a rabbit in stew. His Tigers got handled by the boys of Starkvegas last week, just a week after losing to some upstarts from Tampa. Auburn was worried about becoming the second best team in the state, but this fearless prognosticator wouldn't pick 'em against Troy at this juncture. The fightten Aggies - that's a pack of cowboys to you and me - are gunning for an upset at Jordan Hare. Said Brandon Cox, the starting QB, then backup QB, now starting QB, "I didn't know Mexico had a college football team." Yikes. Take the Cowboys, and plenty of Bourbon if you're a Tigers fan. Lobos 27 Tigggers 26

Georgia Tech at Virginia: It's the Bees and Cavaliers. Tech was a little too hospitable last Saturday night in their loss to those boys form Boston. It seems they were believing their press clippins a little too much. The Boys of Jeffersonville have huge wins over Duke and North Carolina, and  a loss to Division I power Wyomin. The Bees don't suck, but now they know they need to actually show up to win football games. Take Tech, and a fifth of the good stuff. Bees 24 Cavs 21

Georgia at Alabama: The Pachyderms are flying high after their fourth quarter heroics last Saturday night in Tuscaloosa. Despite a defensive collapse in the fourth quarter, Saban rallied the troops to the program's first come-from-behind victory in the fourth quarter in six years. The Bullpuppies are still smarting from the loss to the Evil Genius; Richt is so paranoid he closed practice this week. The Puppies have talent, but they don't have two backs like the Piggies and certainly don't have the mojo going on in T-town. Get ready for 92,000 rednecks, all wearing some shade of red, and all in some state of - shall we say - happiness by game time. Elephants 31 Dawgies 27

Texas A&M at Miami: The Aggies somehow managed to pull their butts right out of the fire last week against some dudes from the left coast. Of course, it wasn't the team whose tail end was about to be engulfed in flames, it was their multi-million dollar coach. This game would be great if the Canes had a good team. They looked like Notre Dame at Oklahoma last week. That's not good. At all. And now the Military dudes have some life. Aggies 30 Canes 14

South Carolina at LSU: The Evil Genius said the War Chickens were ready to compete for a title. Well, this week he gets a chance to make a statement. Some AP voter has these guys #4 on his ballot. I wonder what he is sippin on when he fills that thing out at 4am? I want some of that. Anyway, the Cajuns are good. Not kinda good. But kick you in the groin and make you feel good about it good. Les Miles has submitted his application for the Michigan job, but he doesn't need to submit any applications for victory this week. It's tough, but done. Cajuns 27 War Chickens 17

Michigan State at Notre Dame: Will the Fighting Catholics even win a game this year? That question isn't being posed by the Big Boy on the sidelines, or the Big Man in the Sky. it's getting asked by the head honcho at NBC who is stuck televising these guys. Appalachian State has just submitted a proposal to have their games picked up instead, saying, "not only did we score at Michigan, we won at Michigan." The Spartinators are quietly putting together a nice season. They could not show up and win this game. Sparticus 30 Irish 0

Florida at Ole Miss: It's Team Tebow. Tebomania. Tebonator. The Tebow Man. If this Tebow thing gets any more out of hand, his head ain't gonna fit in a standard size cap if you know what I mean - and you do. The Crocs are gettin lots of press over beatin the snot out of an awful Davy Crocket team last week. The Rebs, well, they are the Rebs. Grove or no grove, they lost to Vandy last week. Were they looking ahead? No, they just aren't good. Probably worse than Mississippi State. Crocs 70 Johnny Rebs 10

Penn State at Michigan: The Kittens from Pennsylvania have now made it through the gauntlet of their early patsy schedule - Florida somewhere, Notre Dame, and Buffalo. The Wolverines finally got off the schneid and whipped somebody last week - but at this point, kickin the crap out of Notre Dame isn't a fad, it's the fancy. JoPa is 800 years old, and can hardly see the field. Good thing his QB can. Take some Lions, and enjoy a crisp, fall, afternoon in the Nuthouse. Lions 21 Wolverines 17

Kentucky at Arkansas: It's the Mildcats at Piggies. Normally, not much to stir about. But the Cats have won eight of their last nine games and vaulted into the top 25 for the first time since Reagan was president. You know, that was a long time ago now. The Piggies lost a heart breaker in Tuscaloosa last week. Might not have even been a contest if Arkansas has a secondary. Don't look now, but Kentucky has one of the best QBs in the Southeastern Conference. Piggies are a bit down. The Cats are in the mood for Bacon. Do some tailgatin, and take your blender. Cats 45 Pigs 43

Arkansas State at Tennessee: The Davy Crockets have lost two games, and it's not even October. Arkansas State is gonna pay the price. Crockets 52 Indians 10

Vanderbilt at Idle: Vandy is on a winning streak. And now get an extra week to prepare for Auburn. Doormats 20 Idle 17

Washington State at USC: The Cougars had just a huge win against the Idaho potatoes last week. The Men of Troy cake-walked through Lincoln. My advice to the boys from Apple country? Enjoy the sand and surf of Southern California Saturday morning, cause the Coliseum is not a potato patch. Trojans 63 Cougars 20

Rice at Texas: The Owls at Longhorns. I'm still a little confused at how a bowl of stuff done in a minute gets to play programs like Texas. Oh yeah, the paycheck. And somehow they are still in Division I. The Bullhorns scraped by Central Florida last week. Rumor is they enjoyed the scenic gulf coast a little too much. Rice could throw in the red beans & sausage and still not have enough gas to win this one. Horns 52 Rice 3

Gardner-Webb at Mississippi State: The runnin Bulldawgs take on Sly's boys in a made-for-very-late night TV game in Starkville. GW is probably looking ahead to their big game with Austin Peay next week. State isn't looking ahead to nobody, as they are still in shock they beat the Hapless Tigers last week with their second and third string QBs. Take your iPod. And some of the good stuff. State 52 Gardners 3

Comments

[RobK]

As usual this is entertainment in it's highest form. Couple questions.

1. What changed? When did you get accurate? Is this a byproduct of gettin' married?

2. Why can't I vote for Georgia in the side-bar? I mean, sure they can take Western Carolina, but that isn't even a state.

[kevw]

I don't know who you are, but you've pretty much nailed it every week.