Birmingham, AL (FP) – Effectively immediately, Alabama football coach Nick Saban is leaving the University of Alabama.
“I just felt like, given the circumstances, it was only best that I return where I started – The University of Toledo Rockets.” The Rockets are expecting a fine season. Although they are picked by most experts to finish no higher than third in the MAC, Toledo Athletic Director Mike O’Brien was moved to tears when he spoke of Saban taking over the reigns of Rocket football.
“Mamma called,” was all O’Brien could say. Rumors have season ticket sales now exceeding 5,000 with the news. The outgoing football coach at Toledo will stay on as water boy.
“I can’t even remember what ‘MAC’ stands for,” said Saban, “but I believe with enough guts and determination, we can stay out of the cellar.”
Alabama athletics director Mal Moore has scheduled an 8:00 am CST news conference on Friday, July 27, 2007, to address media inquiries.
“We know you guys will feel slighted again,” said Moore. “We will have sports psychologists and bourbon on hand to help you deal with the pain of Coach Saban not telling you his plans for the future.”
The biggest grin in the room came from Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville. “You don’t know what a pain it has been to deal with the Saban media questions,” said Tubby. “We have a winning record against the guy for crying out loud.”
The University is expected to immediately set its sights on the only coach available with a history of coming right into fall practice. Unconfirmed reports had the personal jet of a certain steakhouse owner in Tuscaloosa this afternoon.
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