Last week this fearless prognosticator wasn't so fearless. But truly, who was? Seems like the whole flippen Top 10 got beat. Who the heck are the South Florida Bulls? Their jerseys are ugly. And so are their helmets. Anyway, Mr. Fearless went an astounding 10-5 straight up without the water, bringing us to 52-16-1 on this not so young season. Seems like if you just pulled for strange colored uniforms, you probably do alright in this environment. On to this week's most Fearless, Prognostications....
Wisconsin at Illinois: The Boys from Dairy Country keep slippin past opponents - so much so that they have slipped right into the national championship race. Don't tell that to the Zooker. He's recruited an SEC caliber team to Champaign, and now the rest of the Big 11 are paying the price. Or they'll soon be trying to figure out exactly what price gets you to Champaign. You get the drift. The Cheez Whiz should win this game. And they would on paper. But they don't play this game on paper, they play it between the ears of college kids. The Zooknest monster took out JoPa last week, and this week it does the same to Wiscaaaansin. Illini 13 Dairy Boys 9
Virginia Tech at Clemson: The traditional Climson-we're kinda-good-so-let's let-down-our-fans got started a bit early this year. usually doesn't start till mid-October, but it got off to an early start in Atlanta last weekend. To many frosted Oranges I guess. They get another crack at a team with "Tech" in the name this week. The Fightin Gobblers have slowly been gettin off the schneid since their hind-ends got wrapped in a gift box and mailed back to Blacksburg by LSU. Climsun is better than last week. And they're better than the gobblers. Tigers 24 Gobblers 17
Houston at Alabama: Houston, we have a problem. The Pachyderms have gotten their nose bloodied two consecutive weeks, and the natives are gettin a little restless in Bear Country if you know what I mean. And you do. The Cougars come to T-town where they will be treated with all kinds of hospitality. It's homecoming, which means there will be ceremonies, women competin for courts and such, bar-b-q everywhere, and a grillin on the field. 'Bama fans get to relax this week. Elephants 63 Spaceships 3
Stanford at USC: After a tough game last week in Seattle, Trojan Mans are off this week. It will be a bit of an intrasquad scrimmage. SC will play some QB not named Booty. Something like, "Hey, anybody in the student section want to suit up?" Oh yeah, the Fightin Trees from Stanford will be there. Don't forget the saws. And ice cold beverages with just a hint of the good stuff. Trojans 52 Trees 0
Florida at LSU: A strange thing happened on the way to another Croc national championship. Yep, those pesky Tigers by Tubby, who darn right seem to have the Crocodile number: Something like 1-800-we-beat-you-agin-in-the-swamp. Meanwhile, Les Miles has a little something brewing of his own: a QB controversy and a pending job interview in Ann Arbor. The Cajuns do have a defense, which includes waterboys as big as the Tebownator. Should be close. Enjoy the party. And a fifth. Cajuns 12 Crocs 10
Vanderbilt at Auburn: just about the best thing in the world happened for the Doormats last week as Auburn piled high and deep to knock off the Crocs. just about the worst thing in the world happened for the Doormats last week as Auburn piled high and deep to knock off the Crocs. Poor ol Bobby Johnson probably had this one circled on his calendar. "Dear Diary, bring my the signature victory. Please." Auburn is not good. And neither are the Sinkin Ships. If this were only a spelling bee is what the Vandy Chancellor is thinkin. Take Auburn, and a flask. Tubbys 30 Ships 10
Oklahoma vs. Texas: Hmm, I wonder if these two were lookin ahead last week to the Red River Shootout. Looks like it, cause instead of six-shooters we're gettin cap guns this week. In a game that suddenly matters less to most of the nation, the Horns and Connestoga Wagons get together for their annual shoot-em-up. The Horns look like Betsy, and the Sooners flat out got outplayed by that bunch from Boulder. Texas has a problem: special teams are so special they don't have any. Take some Sooners, and treat yourself to somethin really nice at a Dallas Beverage Store. Sooners 31 Hornless 20
UAB at Mississippi State: The Birmingham Blazers invade Starkvegas for something not so civilized. What the heck is a Blazer anyway? A Fireball? Dragon? I dunno. But I do know this: Sly's pups got off to a pretty decent start, and after this week's firestorm with UAB, the Dawgies play Tennessee, West Virginia, Kentucky, and Alabama. Yikes. I'd be worried they're lookin ahead, but what on earth would they be doin that for. UAB held Florida State in check, and I'm thinkin this game will be a little too close for comfort for Croom. Southern Comfort, that is. Give the edge to Maroon, but barely. Dawgies 23 Blazer Dragons 21
Georgia at Tennessee: Richts Boys have played themselves right back into the SEC East. Not only have they been a winnin, but their arch enemies in Gainesville have been a losin. Last weekend was the very definition of a perfect weekend for Athenites. Meanwhile, the heat is crankin up a notch in Knoxville. If Pumpkin Boy isn't careful, he'll be carved up by Halloween. The Davy Crockets rank - and I mean very rank- last in the SEC in points allowed per game. That's not good. And frankly, I'd rather have the Pumpkin Spiced Latte than a carved up Pumpkin Boy anyway. Lookin more and more like UT vs Vandy could decide which team gets the top draft choice next year. Firefulmer.com traffic is spikin. Dawgies 30 Crockets 20
UTC at Arkansas: The Mocs have not much of a shot in this one, unless you count what the fans will be doin in the stands. Boss Hog could spend the whole night text messaging his colleagues to see where he might find a job next year, and the Piglets would still win this one. Hawgies 63 Mocs 6
Georgia Tech at Maryland: It's Bees and Turtles in a game that will kick-off before most people on the West Coast even get out of bed. Gotta love those Eggs and Bacon kickoffs. Me, I like 'em with a hint of the good stuff. I'm guessin folks are crankin up the grills around 8:00 am. The Bees are like Jeckle and Hyde - one week they stinch, the next week they are knockin off Climsun. The Turtles upset Rutgers last week. Seems weird to even write "upset" in that sentunce. The Bees have a choice. And this week he's playin running back. Time for some Turtle Soup with the eggs. Bees 28 Turtles 20
Louisiana Tech at Ole Miss: It's a pretty typical year for the Rebs. They scare the bejesus out of teams they have no business beating, and beat most of the teams they have no business playin. After scaring the Crocs and exposing them for Tubby, the Rebs went to Athens and got their rifles handed to 'em in places that aren't comfortable. After this week, they got 'Bama, Auburn, and Arkansas. That's recipe for a drinkin problem. The Fighten Techsters, well, they stinch just as bad, coming in at 1-3. These teams are a combined 2-7 - if this game's on your cable channel, switch to satellite. Ole Miss 6 Tech 5
Kentucky at South Carolina: Can anybody believe both of these teams are in the top 25, and fighting for a birth in the SEC Championship? I would have bet my pop's "medicine" still that this could never happen. The Mildcats are suddenly not the Mildcats, and the War Chickens are finally playing with the intensity that you expect from Evil Genius teams. The Chickens have a nice defense, but they haven't seen a quarterback like this all year. The Blue Kittens have the best QB in the SEC, and no defense. Should be down right entertainin. Take some of the good stuff, but pace yourselves, cause this game is Thursday night. Cats 42 Chickens 28
Ohio State at Purdue: The Nuts invade West Lafayette for a battle with some fairly ferocious trains. Ok, "ferocious." The fact of the matter is both these teams are 5-0 because they have spent more time at Krispy Creme than the local sheriff. I mean, look at their schedules. Creampuff City. If you play more directional schools than there are directions, no wonder you're undefeated. The problem for Tiller's bunch is that the Nuts have, well, nuts. These guys are not Eastern Ohio School for the Needy. It will be excitin early, but don't forget the remote. Buckeyes 31 Boilers 10
Notre Dame at UCLA: The Fighten Catholics really should be spendin more time in Mass. Last week they improved and only got waxed by two touchdowns. The Bruins are playing with some intensity, and it only takes a little of that these days to flatten Notre Dame. Who knew this was the year to schedule the Irish for homecoming. Navy is starting to get excited. Bruins 40 Irish 13
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